By Ken Wilber
The compelling tale of the five-year trip of Ken Wilber (author of The Spectrum of attention and Up from Eden) and his spouse Treya via marriage, disease, and, eventually, Treya's dying. Ken's marvelous and wide-ranging remark is mixed with Treya's journals to create an inspiring portrait of therapeutic, agony, wholeness and concord.
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Extra resources for Grace and Grit: Spirituality and Healing in the Life and Death of Treya Killam Wilber
Maybe that I was too confident, too smug, I deserved some hard times in my life. I'm not as bad as the woman I heard of who felt like a failure in life for having gotten cancer, but when I'm in that kind of mood I understand what she means. " "Hell, kid, I don't know what I think. Why don't you make a list? Try it now. " Here is what I wrote, waiting for my vegetable soup to arrive: - repressing my emotions, especially anger and sadness - a period of major life change and stress and depression I went through a few years ago, during which I cried almost every day for two months - being much too self-critical - too much animal fat in my diet when younger and too much coffee - worrying about my real purpose in life; internal pressure to find my calling, my work - feeling very lonely and hopeless as a child, isolated and alone and unable to express my feelings - a long-standing tendency to be self-contained, independent, and in control - failure to more vigorously pursue a spiritual path, like meditation, since this has always been my fundamental goal - not meeting Ken sooner "So what do you think.
You're serious, aren't you? I love you totally, sweetie, and you know it. I'm here for you twenty-four hours a day because I'm crazy about you! You think that because you haven't found your ultimate vocation - you think you are worthless. You'll find it, I'm sure, but in the meantime you completely overlook your being, your presence, your energy, your integrity. Are you kidding? People are absolutely nuts about you, you know that. I have never seen anybody with the number of amazing and totally dedicated friends that you have.
I valued men's values, and I did not want to be a Texas wife - so I threw over many feminine values, and fought them in myself, fought them any time they came up in me. A denial, I believe, of my feminine side, my body, my nurturing, my sexuality, while I aligned myself with my head, my father, my logic, my society's values. In facing this cancer, I now think the answer to that burning question - what is my work? - comes in two parts. 1. ) and seeing what else that might grow into. But it begins by supporting him and his work in all those invisible ways a wife does that my ego always revolted against.
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